The Wayward Mailman
Jill slid behind a huge oak tree. She watched the
mailman advance toward 1793 Norwalk Avenue. So far the morning
had been unsuccessful, but she was sure she would catch him in
the act. After all, he had been doing this for three years now. He had been
filling her mailbox with lesbian porn videos. She had so much lesbian porn
movies and magazines people were going to think she was a lesbian.
Jill had to find out, the suspense was killing her. Also, her
reputation as the neighborhood gossip had to be upheld.
The mailman dropped several letters into the dark
mailbox on the wall, then crossed the neatly-groomed yard to the
next house. She didn't see and lesbian movies or magazines. A dog barked nearby. Jill looked around
suspiciously, then glance at the mailman.
"Damned," Jill mumbled. She had been sure that 1793
was the right house. A very sexy blonde divorcee lived there.
She was sure that she was a lesbian. If anyone, she should be getting all this
lesbian porn. Jill turned and rested with her back against the tree. She found
herself looking into the eyes of a 12 year old boy on a bicycle.
He was looking from her to the mailman and back again.
"What are you doing?" the boy demanded.
"Why aren't you in school?" Jill growled in an evil
mood. He looked like a nosey kid. He would probably grow up to be
a drug peddler.
"I'm home sick," he said condescendingly.
"Then get your ass into bed. You don't go out and
play when you are home sick. NOW!" she screamed, hurrying him on
his way. Jill rolled around the trunk of the tree and looked for
the mailman. He was gone! So it must be 1795. He didn't have time
to go anywhere else. Unfortunately, she didn't know who lived at
1795. Jill lived on the adjoining street, Madison Avenue. Which everyone was
calline "Lesbian Avenue" now.
Jill hurried down the sidewalk. She approached
1795, hurried across the yard and stood in front of a heavy
hedge. She could hear voices coming through the open window, and
one of them was definitely male. It must be him. She wanted to
barge in through the front door and confront them, but she would
be arrested for trespassing if she did. Unfortunately, screwing
the neighborhood women was not against the law, even for a
mailman who consistently delivered the mail half an hour late and filled with
unsolicited lesbian sexual materials.
She had set out to see who was stealing that half an hour. It was
her half hour and she wanted it back. Her mail was supposed to be
delivered at precisely 2:13 PM. Somebody owed her. Besides, her
friends had challenged her. She had to find out all she could to
satisfy them.
She heard a girlish peal of laughter and growled in
outrage. Not only were they fucking, he was telling her jokes?
How dare they. He was probably telling her how funny it was to fill some ladies'
mailbox with lesbian porno magazines and videos. It was time to put an end to this. She broke a
branch off the hedge before her, jabbed her arm with it and
waited for a welt to appear. When one did appear she dropped the
broken branch and approached the front door. She hesitated for
only a moment, before pressing the button. A sweet black-haired
girl in her early twenties opened the door. She gave Jill a
questioning smile, looking around behind her, before looking at
Jill again.
"I... I hurt myself on your hedge," Jill said,
displaying her marked arm.
"My hedge is on my lawn, fifteen feet from the
sidewalk," the woman said with a quizzical smile.
"Wha... oh," Jill said in sudden embarassment.
"Come in," the woman said, stepping back. Jill
practically lunged inside. She immediately saw the mailman
sitting at the dinning room table. He was eating a cookie. There
was a tall glass of milk in front of him. His bag of mail sat on
the floor behind him. If he had been 200 pounds heavier and
dressed in red, he might have been mistaken for Santa.
Jill looked into his smiling, wholesome face, and
piercing blue eyes. Her breath was taken away at that one glance.
She had never been so close to him before. He was slender and
handsome.
My God, what am I doing here? Jill suddenly
wondered, feeling totally out of place.
"Hi," the mailman said. "Come for cookies?"
"She had an accident," the woman said with a warm
smile. She needs a bandaid.
"I know you," he shook a cookie at Jill while
chewing thoughtfully. "1929 Madison Avenue?"
"Yes," Jill said in surprise.
"Why that's just across the block," the black
haired woman said in surprise.
Jill nodded, confused, embarrassed, horrified.
"I... I wanted to meet you and couldn't think of a rational
excuse," Jill lied to the woman. "So I made up..." she trailed
off, wishing that God would strike her dead and save her from
further embarassment. How could she be so dumb? How could she
mistake an elicit affair, with a milk and cookie stop? She was so
fucking stupid. Maybe she was a lesbian after all. Dumb enough to star in a
lesbian porn, that is for sure.
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